**** All Images used are for representational purpose alone****
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem!—Phil Donahue
At the Epicenter – Naresh Malhotra – Admin Head, one of the Top Five IT Companies, Bengaluru, India.
Program attended – Rajesh Murthy’s – Leaving a Legacy * – Oct’15.
Breakdown – “I choose not to live anymore, for this life isn’t worth living. I’ve seen too much, endured so much. I don’t see a way out. I want to fade into the oblivion. I prefer suicide, and I don’t wish to see the Monday that’s starting the day after” whimpered Naresh in confusion and anguish.
The untold story – Naresh, a brilliant young man, was silently battling depression for a decade now. And his close world had not come to a full understanding of the gravity of the risk it posed.
The severe workload in Administration, continual pressure, un-understanding, and cold bosses demanding results sitting in different locations, tons of emails, and status reports to be sent each hour took the very life out of him.
He felt his personal life, physical and mental health, time with this spouse and young kids took the maximum whipping. Spending a few minutes with his aged parents remained a distant dream. He felt like he had an eight-day workweek in an IT company!
Uncomplicate – “Naresh, can you place your hand over your heart, can you feel your heartbeat? I asked softly? That’s called purpose. You are alive for a reason. So don’t you ever give up, I said sternly.
Don’t be hard on yourself. You need to stick around. What you see is not what you get. Most people overestimate what they can do in a year and underestimate what can they can DO or BE in a decade – I predicted.
And for that to happen, you’ll need to stick around for another ten years minimum. Give yourself some extra time here. You’ve got a lot to give and a lot to love.
No one ever lacks a good reason for suicide! You have yours too.
But I want you to understand that death is life’s way of telling you the game’s finally over. Suicide is your way of telling life; you quit! – I jabbed.
Naresh, ponder over this. When people kill themselves, they think they’re ending the pain, but what they’re really doing is passing it on to those they leave behind, I asserted.
But I don’t want to live. My family would grieve for a while, and later time will heal. They’ll get over it – Naresh intervened irrationally.
Your death will be the single, most painful thing that can ever happen to your family. Suicide always takes more than one life. Your spouse and parents will lose a huge part of themselves forever. Your young kids will not even comprehend the loss for a while as to what hit them.
Suicide destroys entire families. It is final, extreme, and irreversible. – I cautiously treaded further.
But, I am awfully stuck in my job and responsibilities, he lamented. After I am gone, my family can get compensation, funds from my company, and the term insurance cover. And to make that happen, I don’t have to live – to go through this hell each day – he rejoined adamantly.
But, Wait! Won’t you repay your Huge Debt? I asked him startingly.
I am not leaving any debts behind; he answered stiffly.
What about the Debt Of Love, The Debt Of Care, The Debt Of Time, The Debt Of Every Sweet Thing you experienced together?
“And, To Whom?” I questioned authoritatively.
To your Parents. Your Lovely Mom & Caring Dad – I said in an apologetic tone.
And they still love you & care for you the same way since the day you were born.
And to your wife and wonderful kids, whose life will never be the same again without YOU, once the shimmering light is gone from their lives. – Naresh stood cold, his eyes getting moist.
To live is tough; to die is tougher. You are not alone, Naresh. Most people will have suicidal thoughts at least once in their lives. It is a release mechanism for the mind.
Naresh, you are not the lone survivor of trials and tribulations on planet earth. Mental health professionals state that 99% of people in the world are depressed, and the other 1% don’t know that they are!; now bringing a small crescent smile on his face.
Here’s another way to uncomplicate things? What problem do you have RIGHT NOW? No, not in the next seconds. Not in the next five minutes. Not in the next five days. What is your problem, this very present moment? Nothing.
Naresh, if there’s even one other person in the world with whom you can experience true love, then you definitely deserve to live.
Waiting for Daddy to return!
To be thoroughly known by another, and loved for all of who you really are is a privilege not everyone gets to experience. And if you are gone, I can’t imagine you’d want to hurt that person by uttering the bitter truth to them, “You’re not enough to keep me alive.”, and Naresh began to sob.
For the first time, his will to live was greater than his firm resolution to depart!
The scriptures urge us, “You should be ashamed to die unless you have made a major contribution to humankind.”
Breakthrough – Naresh, in spite of his attitude of cynicism and withdrawal, finally quit his job of 18 years and found an organization that isn’t as large and pays as much as the former one but, more importantly, has found peace and tranquility.
Its a matter of unexplainable contentment for his parents to see the couple drop their kids at school each day and travel to the workplace together, creating a synergy that never existed before…
That’s the sad thing about suicide. Try to remember as much you want as to how a person lived his life; you’ll always end up thinking about how he ended it.—Anderson Cooper
Each life-changing chapter in the book contains stellar 'breakthroughs' participants have received in over two decades of being with us in our various workshops.
Legends used in the above Blog are explained here for easy comprehension of the reader.
At the Epicenter (Dictionary meaning too)- Being at a point, directly above the true center of disturbance in life, from where challenges apparently seem to radiate.
Breakdown - Current challenge in life confronted with, with no end in sight.
The Untold Story - The story behind the story that their world around isn’t aware of, except for their views based on what they see.
Uncomplicate - Powerful distinctions provided by the coach or self-realization by the person itself, resulting in an immediate shift in behavior or action.
Breakthrough - The present triumphant moment of the person who had a breakdown.
From Having -> Doing -> To Being.
From being the person who caused/had the challenge to 'Being' the person creating the Breakthrough!
"Each program attendees story is being published after 'being agreeable' to do so & with written consent".